How to negotiate: 10 tips for effective negotiation

Negotiation is a fundamental skill that plays a crucial role in both personal and professional life. Whether you’re negotiating a job offer, securing a contract, or resolving conflicts, strong negotiation skills can help you reach a beneficial agreement. While some individuals seem naturally skilled at bargaining, the truth is that anyone can develop effective negotiation tactics with the right preparation and mindset.In this guide, we’ll explore key negotiation strategies, how to build rapport with your counterpart, and the best ways to create value in any deal.

Why negotiation skills matter

Negotiation isn’t about winning—it's a strategic dialogue to create value and build lasting relationships. It's about influencing outcomes, resolving conflicts, achieving mutual understanding, and sustaining productive relationships. 

Professionally, strong negotiation skills can lead to:

• Higher compensation and better job terms

• More favorable vendor contracts

• Successful business partnerships

• Stronger team dynamics and conflict resolution

• Stronger cross-functional collaboration

In life, negotiation skills help you:

• Set personal boundaries

• Navigate household decisions

• Manage social conflicts

• Advocate for yourself in difficult conversations

• Enhance Personal Fulfillment

• Cultivate internal locus of control

Examples of negotiations

Most people think of negotiation is limited to formal contract talks, salary discussion or legal settlements. But the truth is, you are negotiating constantly—often without even realizing it.

Have you ever:

• Asked a colleague to take on a task or responsibility

• Negotiated a project deadline

• Managed team conflict

• Influenced others to adopt your strategy/idea

• Secured additional budget or resources for a key initiative

• Advocated for yourself at work

• Set boundaries with family or friends

• Decided with your family where to go on vacation

These are all negotiations, even if they don’t feel like it. Any time you’re working to align conflicting interests, secure better terms, or find common ground—you’re negotiating. And like any skill, negotiation improves with learning practice and strategy.

Preparation tips for successful negotiation

Effective negotiation begins long before you sit down at the bargaining table. Thorough preparation ensures that you enter the discussion with confidence and a clear position. Follow these steps:

• Identify your goals and priorities – What do you need to achieve in this negotiation?

• Understand your BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement) – Knowing your best alternative strengthens your position if negotiations reach an impasse.

• Research your counterpart – Understanding their interests, potential weaknesses, and constraints helps you craft a stronger proposal.

• Build rapport early – Establishing trust and demonstrating empathy can improve negotiation outcomes.

• Develop your negotiation tactics – Prepare strategies for making concessions, countering proposals, and finding integrative negotiation solutions that create value for both parties.

All too often, when people think about negotiations they imagine that they have to come to the bargaining table with a “battle” mentality. People often think that anger or obstinance will somehow better their odds of getting what they want. But research shows that coming in with a complementary approach will actually improve the outcome of the negotiation.

Come prepared to listen during the negotiation and do not dominate the conversation. Using your humanity will often result in better “deals” or “win-win” scenarios for both parties. 

The only way to become a better negotiator is to practice.

1. Be confident

Negotiations with anyone, a boss, a colleague or even a partner can be difficult conversations to have. But don’t be afraid. The first rule of being a good negotiator is to be confident. Sit down at the negotiation table with the belief that what you want — be it higher pay, more days off, or a better title — is something that you deserve. Try to put automatic, negative thoughts that feed imposter syndrome out of your mind.  

One sure way to feel confident going into a negotiation is to practice some negotiation tactics ahead of time. But if you are struggling to feel confident before the big talk, try to stay relaxed by approaching it like a conversation. If you have the conversation face-to-face, remember to make eye contact and read the room. Be aware of any non-verbal cues from the person across the table.

2. Be respectful

Having confidence at the bargaining table is not another way of saying be arrogant or unrelenting in your demands. Be sincere in what you say. Try to avoid talking too much out of nerves and listen to the other party.

Mastering the art of negotiating requires some serious communication skills.  Remaining empathetic to where the other person is coming from will always lead to more win-win scenarios.

3. Do your research

The greatest defense is a good offense. Make sure to do your research before beginning any sort of negotiation. If you are trying to settle on a job offer, negotiating a higher salary, or crafting a better offer, do some reading ahead of time to know what the market rate pay is for the position. 

Look up the market value of the car you’re interested in via the Kelley Blue Book if you are planning to ask for a lower price. Check out websites like Payscale, Glassdoor, LinkedIn, Salary.com, or the Bureau of Labor Statistics to get a quick idea of what salary ranges are based on experience.  

Or if you are trying to negotiate a raise, come in with a clear number of how much ideally you would like to make and a dollar amount that you would need to feel financially secure. Coming into a negotiation with a plan and with an idea of what you want will give you confidence, a strong starting point, and will help make the conversation easier to manage.  

4. Try to anticipate the other party’s wants and needs

Your boss, the car salesman, that unrelenting family member during the holidays, all have their own needs and goals. It will make things easier during negotiation preparations and the actual deal-making process itself if you try to anticipate what the other party might want. 

For example, if you are trying to hash out a raise at work, try to take into account the company or your employer’s financial situation. Did they just recently need to lay off a dozen workers? Has a global pandemic forced the world to a standstill — impacting company profit? What are some incentives you could lay out for the other party to adopt what you offer? Are there any sort of tradeoffs you can offer to help you find common ground? 

Thinking about what the other party’s perspective might be ahead of a negotiation can help you plan out what you think is attainable. 

5. Make the first offer 

When entering a negotiation,  you want to be in control of the bargaining table. One way of doing this is by making the first offer. Typically, nobody accepts the first offer, but opening offers are a good starting point and will influence the other party’s counteroffers. 

Aim high when making the first offer if it is related to salary,  a promotion, vacation days, or a pay raise. And try to aim low if making an offer on something that you will spend your hard-earned money on.  Aiming a bit high or a bit low allows for some wiggle room in the negotiation process for you and the other party to work with. Aim to make a first offer where the opposing party will feel like they can present a counteroffer, turning the negotiated agreement into a win-win for both of you. 

5. Do not take the first offer

If by chance you don’t get to be the first party to speak or make an offer, remember that accepting the first offer is often a mistake. While it might seem tempting to accept the first offer, especially if you are an inexperienced negotiator, try to make a counteroffer. 

Counteroffers increase the chance that both parties will conclude the negotiation feeling as if they “got something” out of it. Sometimes, not making a counteroffer can be startling. In many situations, a counteroffer is expected, and could even disrupt the flow of a negotiation — making it feel forced or awkward. 

Counteroffers are commonly expected in most negotiations, so don’t feel shy about putting yourself out there. After all, it never hurts to ask and the worst they can say is no. Even if you don’t get that lower price or salary increase, knowing that you did the best you could helps to improve your negotiation skills and brings you peace of mind. 

6. Ask open-ended questions

Questions will always help make a negotiation feel more like a conversation and can reveal information that is beneficial to the negotiation. Sometimes it's even best to lead with questions during the beginning of a negotiation to learn where the opposing party stands and what their expectations are. Make sure to ask open-ended questions that can’t be answered with a simple yes or no, and instead opt for more probing questions. 

7. Walk away 

Sometimes a deal is just not meant to be. It’s ok to pump the brakes on negotiation talks if you feel that the other party is not being respectful. Sometimes it's better for the sake of your health, finances, and future to turn down an offer if your gut is telling you it's not a right fit. The opposing party is not doing the work to meet you at a happy middle ground.

Some negotiators will purposefully walk away from a deal as a clever tactic to try to pressure the opposing party into giving their demands. Sometimes this works in business. But other times it just stops a (otherwise healthy) negotiation process from proceeding forward in a way where both parties are happy with the outcome.

8. Communicate clearly and strategically

Start with open questions to gather information and avoid confusion. When someone speaks, listen closely and repeat their main points to show you understand. Keep your tone steady and control the pace of your conversation. This helps you stay calm and confident throughout.

9. Manage emotions and stay calm

Keeping cool gives you the upper hand in negotiations. When tensions rise or the other person gets upset, take a deep breath and gently guide the conversation back to the main points. Don't hesitate to suggest a short break if things get too heated.

10. Close with clarity and commitment

End your negotiation by going over what you've both agreed to. Make sure everyone understands and is on the same page. Clearly outline what happens next and get firm commitments. A good negotiation leaves both sides feeling they've walked away with a fair deal.

How to negotiate a job offer in five steps

1. Get the scoop

Job offers are typically a conversation that you have with your prospective employer where you are allowed to ask questions about the position and its encompassing responsibilities, hours, pay, and a potential accompanying benefits package. Before accepting or declining the job,  ask as many questions as you can that will give you a full sense of the gig and whether the work expectations,  time off, and compensation are up to your standards. 

2. Ask for time to consider the initial offer

There is nothing wrong with taking a day or two to mull over a new job offer. This will allow you to consider the pros and cons of the offer and to craft a counteroffer if you wish. You are not obligated to give the hiring manager a reason for why you want to take some time to consider the offer. But you do want to be respectful of their time and not deliberate for too long. 

During this time, think over what it is that you want from the job. If you are having difficulty making a decision, make a list of what you like about the offer versus what you don’t like about it. Take some time during this period to further research the company and the position. You can also set up informational interviews (if you haven’t already) to hear what current and previous employee experiences were like. 

3. Come prepared

Knowledge is power. Before even considering a job, know what you want in terms of salary, health coverage, retirement, time commitment, workplace training and time off. Having a clear picture of what you want from your job and potential employer will make the negotiation process easier. 

Do some research to know what is an appropriate salary range for the position you have been offered. If you are unhappy with the initial offer make sure to be clear of what you want in a counteroffer. If you will mostly be discussing salary or an hourly rate it's always better to come with specific numbers instead of a range to cut down on the back and forth.  Remember that salary is not the only thing that is negotiable. Other work-related costs like travel expenses, at home office costs, vacation days, sick days, and remote work days are not necessarily set in stone. 

4. Be willing to compromise

If you are asking for more than what was specifically outlined in an initial salary offer, prepare a "best alternative" for your counteroffer. Even if you think you are being reasonable in the demands laid out in your counteroffer the company or employer may just not be able to give you exactly what you want. Evaluate what are the most important things for you in a job and make those your non-negotiables. 

Make sure to also create a list of things that you are willing to be flexible on or live without.  Is there a starting salary that you won’t go below? Are there a minimum amount of paid time off days that you need in a year? Think about what your life and professional goals are and where your values lie. Then see how your (realistic) demands play into those goals. 

5. Don’t make it personal

When discussing a job offer, remember your worth. Great negotiators know that they will have better negotiation outcomes if they don’t make things personal. If $50,000 is too low of an annual salary for you because you have 10 years of experience in the business, mention that. Do not say that you need to make more money because you feel like you haven’t gotten what is owed to you for all your hard work.

You should also leave your personal financial goals or responsibilities out of the conversations. Your monetary value lies in actionable skills that you can offer a place of employment, and you are valuable enough to negotiate based on that. However, if the role will require relocation, commuting, long hours, or other factors that will impact your personal life, it's fair to negotiate additional compensation.

Being a good negotiator is more critical now than ever

Whether you’re navigating workplace agreements, resolving conflicts, or advocating for yourself in high-stakes bargaining, mastering effective negotiation strategies can set you apart. The ability to build rapport, create value, and confidently communicate your position leads to better outcomes in both your personal and professional life.

But negotiation is a skill that takes practice—and the right guidance can make all the difference. BetterUp coaches provide personalized, science-backed strategies to help you refine your approach, strengthen your confidence, and achieve success in any negotiation.

Connect with a BetterUp Coach today and start negotiating with purpose, clarity, and confidence.